Sunday, January 30, 2011

I'm only tired, not crazy. I think.

I stayed up entirely too late reading Gone with the Wind last night. The result is that I was really tired when Choo Choo tried to wake me up for Walkies this morning. Good dog that she is, when she couldn't hold it anymore she had an accident on the wood floor instead of the carpet. Much easier to clean.

Thank you, Choo Choo.

When I was getting dressed this morning after I finally woke up (about half an hour ago, and yes I took Choo Choo out for walkies) I happened to catch sight of something weird in the mirror. Great balls of fire! Finger marks dug into my belly!Red, angry looking finger marks!

And, before you guys say it, I tested with my own fingers to see if maybe I grabbed myself in my sleep. Too far apart and too large to be my own, and Padawan left at five thirty this morning. Which leaves two culprits. Choo Choo, who has no fingers, or Kane. Who has no fingers because he's invisible, but he was presumably a man when he was alive, so he probably has fingers and hands I just can't see.

Actually, when I tried taking a picture with my camera (because I knew nobody would believe me without a picture) I realized they looked far more like toe marks than finger marks. In which case it still can't be me. As much as we all like to imagine we're incredibly flexible, I am not. I am not even capable of bending down to touch my toes, I sure as heck couldn't step on myself while I was sleeping.

Unfortunately, with a flash all of my skin turned white as a ghost. Without the flash everything is in shadow. I can see the marks faintly in the picture, but no amount of adjustment makes them more obvious unless you look at your computer from a certain angle. I circled the marks in the no flash picture.

But in case you don't believe me, and you want to laugh, I have a picture from work the other day that I've been saving for just such a moment as this.

This is my coworker, B-Money, who has given his permission for me to put this picture on the interwebz. That thing in his hands is a half sized Barbie Guitar that someone brought in for a restring and tuning. B-Money obliged them, and he was playing it to make sure it was tuned when I couldn't resist the urge to take a picture. For the record, he looks bald because he is bald. He shaves his head because he started loosing his hair. Male pattern baldness.


  1. There is an old Barbara Hershey movie, I looked up the title, called The Entity. It's based on someone's supposed real story. This woman has a ghost who assaults her all the time. It looks like you need to have an exorcism if Kane has moved on from rearranging the furniture to this.

  2. wow. Ghost marks on your stomach and a Barbie guitar...pretty stellar post.
    I loved Gone with the Wind in book form but can you believe I have never seen the movie? It's shocking really. I don't think I'd be able to rest till I called my husband to ask if he kicked me in his sleep or tried some weird new toe fetish thing on my belly and I slept through it. Either way...strange. Hope it goes away and doesn't bruise cause that would just be too weird.

  3. He doesn't look bald to me. He looks like he's wearing a hat.

    As for the toe marks, maybe you should do the whole Paranormal Activity thing and set up a video recording in your room, posting anything interesting here, of course.

  4. Now I want a Barbie Guitar. Well, no. Maybe a G.I. Joe guitar. I wonder if they ever made one?

  5. Oh, and your new font format makes my comments look girlie. Even girlier than saying I want a Barbie guitar.

  6. George: I think Daddy told me about a movie where a girl was bothered by a ghost. Of course, it's hard to tell via text on the internet whether or not your tone is as patronizing as his was when we were discussing Kane and his possible existence, but I don't believe in Exorcists, even if I maybe might believe in ghosts.

    Jewels: A lot of people don't like the movie, my older sister among them. I, however, love it so much that I once watched it every single day for an entire summer when I was fifteen. And this was when it was a two tape VHS set that I had to rewind after every viewing. Pure dedication. (Obsession?) Padawan claims innocence. He also says that there is nothing on my stomach in this picture. (Am I the ONLY ONE who sees it???)

    Bryan: I happen to have been talked into seeing that movie against my better judgement. And it happens to be my firm belief that if I set up a camera in my room it would lead to one of two different ends: Kane might become angry and terrorize me and drive me to insanity and make me kill Padawan, or Padawan and I would find creative ways to keep the camera entertained. Either way, I probably wouldn't be able to figure out how to put videos of Kane doing silly things with the blankets on the interwebz. I can't even figure out how to get Choo Choo's high video off of my iPod.

    Doug: You could always call Mattel and ask about G.I. Joe. They made the Barbie guitar, after all. And yes, my font does make everything you say girly. But...when you consider that it's also pink letters and on a pink background sitting on top of a picture that is also varying shades of pink, it's really a lot worse than you initially thought. So...sorry about that. Almost.


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