Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Grant Me the Serenity...are we talking about the spaceship?

I guess I joined the Cool Kids Time Travel Club with Bryan, Doug, and Scott. (Presumably other people as well, but I think these three are probably the most prominent members.) And since I joined the club I have to follow the posts, which brings us to the title...Grant Me the Serenity.

Now, I have no idea what serenity has to do with time travel, but I admit my knowledge of time travel is fairly limited. I know only what I've seen in movies and what I've read on Bryan's page. (I also know the secret formula for time travel that leaves behind no paradoxes, but that was an accidental discovery, and I already said I'm the only person in the world who can be trusted with this information. Don't bother asking me. I won't share.)  So how exactly I'm supposed to carry on talking about time travel when I haven't even seen the very first Back to the Future movie I don't know yet.

What I do know is this: Serenity was the name of a movie about a spaceship called Serenity in which a psychic girl is hiding from the government because they are after her and she knows something about Miranda, which was a planet they all but destroyed with a scientific experiment that left the survivors less human and something more like Space Zombies. I think they called them Grievers or something. There were some fight scenes, lots of bad dialog with hideous accents, and pretty sub-par acting that left me giggling at moments that were, I'm fairly certain, intended to be of a serious nature. At one point a woman actually complained to the captain that she hadn't "had nothing twixt my legs twern't battery operated" for quite some time. I think she may have specified three years, but how the hell can I be sure? I hated listening to her! How are you supposed to take ANYTHING seriously when everybody talks like redneck hillbillies? It's a space movie for crying out loud! Anyway, space travel has very little to do with time travel, I think. 

Introducing the cast as I see them.

Or is time in space different because you're technically not revolving around the Sun, which is how we measure time?

Doesn't matter. My take on this is that I want somebody to grant me the Serenity as a gift. Like, the actual ship. Why? 

Because...

If I had the Spaceship Serenity, I would turn it into a giant time machine. Then I would travel around from time to time, wreaking havoc and mayhem where ever I happened to travel. Imagine the horrible ways in which I could alter the pages of history simply by flirting with Henry VIII before he married Catherine of Aragon. Muah ha haa. <--- That's my evil laugh, by the way. 

Or imagine what would happen if I went back to just before the fools in Charleston fired on Fort Sumter and instead I marched and fired a round at the soldiers inside... They wouldn't know what to make of it, would they?

Of course not. History would be baffled for centuries to come.

 I could do a lot of damage to History if someone were to grant me Serenity. Which is probably why nobody has, and I think it's unfair. 

60 comments:

  1. So if I understand this correctly, you want to be on this show?

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  2. No! Didn't I just say they all have really awful hick accents and bad acting and they complain about using vibrators instead of having sex? Who wants to be part of that?!

    I just want the ship.

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  3. Oh...you are going to get so much flack for this. A lot of us nerdy space-time geeks loved Firefly (the tv show that the movie was based on) and Serenity. You may get kicked out of the Cool Kids Time Travel Club...seriously. And they were "Reavers" not "Grievers"! So much flack is on its way.

    On a side note: I took a lesson from your pagebook and redesigned my blog.

    I am going to try to forget this post ever happened (suppressing) and continue to read what you share.
    Funny Stuff I Write And Draw

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  4. Well I said, "Or something." That clearly indicated I wasn't sure WHAT they were called, only that they were something like Space Zombies. Which they were, you know. And I can't help it if thick southern drawls hurt my ears like nails on a chalkboard. I've tried watching Firefly, too. Accents just ruin the whole thing for me. Seriously, how can you stand it? It's horrifying! It's murder of the English language! And I can't help how I feel. Padawan, if it's any consolation, is on your side in this. He loves the show and that movie. I just don't like the idea of hick accents in space. Can you not admit that maybe the script could have been better? I liked the story. I thought it was a good idea.

    Thank you for not unfollowing me. I promise I will never make fun of the movie again. This was a one time thing.

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  5. Okay...I will forgive you this once. I actually love the script and I do think the universe they live in would lead to hick-like accents as the outer planets are so backward and isolated. Joss Whedon does a good job of injecting good amounts of humor, drama, and action into the things he does which makes me happy.

    Sorry to freak out on you. I know you mean well. Ü

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  6. I haven't seen the movie you described but found your descriptions of the characters very entertaining.

    Have you read the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon? It has this whole time travel/change the future theme going on. (Plus it's a hot historical romance.) I thought maybe you might like it.

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  7. Charlie, I like the Star Wars way. Luke was a farm boy and Han was something of a space cowboy, but no accents. And it worked.

    Still can't do the U with the dots...

    Hannah, I have not read the series, but you had me at historical romance. I can't resist the temptation. Amazon will be having a visit from me very shortly.

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  8. Ah...but Star Wars did give us accents and dialects. Han didn't speak like a hick, but he did use slang and spoke more like a commoner than the princess or higher educated jedi. You also hear a mix of british, american, and new zealand accents. Don't even get me started on Jar Jar who has the most obnoxious, hick, backward accent ever! I know...I'm a nerd.

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  9. I don't really consider Jar Jar's...unique method of speaking as having an accent so much as...a dialect. Though it's still annoying, it's preferable to hearing, "Oh mah gawd, look ove-uh they-uh, mah dee-uh!!"

    "Mee-sah Jar Jar Binks" is infinitely preferable.

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  10. Wow! We will just have to continue to agree on disagreeing. Jar Jar made me want to stab myself in the brain with a stick.

    *rocking back and forth on the movie seat repeating "make him stop, make him stop" over and over again*

    I also grew up between Southern Utah and Louisiana...so, while I do not have a hick accent, it just rolls off me.

    Sorry you can't Ü Ü Ü Ü Ü

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  11. Well, you have to look at it from my point of view. I was eleven years old when Episode 1 hit theaters. As a child, I found Jar Jar entertaining. It was only in my teenage years that I began to see he was...less entertaining and more annoying. (I still love the Ewoks! I will NEVER hate the Ewoks!) But I still like his voice better than someone like...say, Lady Antebellum.

    I grew up in Texas. My own Father has a tendency to use "warsh" instead of "wash," and "winders" instead of "Windows". My grandparents "axe" instead of "ask." Doesn't make it any less obnoxious.

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  12. And then you go and redeem yourself by loving ewoks! The world makes sense again...ish.

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  13. YAY! Another Ewok fan! Somebody told me that everybody hates the Ewoks, but I still love them! They are too amusing and adorable to hate. Plus, I can do a really good Ewok impression.

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  14. Sorry to keep commenting back and forth, dominating the thread forever...but I had to mention that I plan on dressing my dog up as an ewok one of these halloweens. He will hate me and ewoks for it, but I will still love them.

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  15. Clearly you haven't seen the Kevin Spacey Free Association comment thread between me and George. It was EPIC.

    You realize that if you do that you must put up pictures, right? It's only fair.

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  16. We think alike when it comes to time travel. I would HAVE to wreak havoc if I had the chance. It's the only way to go!

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  17. "Need a moment to think it over? Think it over with Twixt." Or however it goes. I never saw that Serenity show. Thanks to your...ummmm...review, I will no longer toss and turn in my bed at night worrying that I missed out on seeing it.

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  18. 1. Generally nerds who are offended also tend to forgive rather hastily when there is a cute girl in the mix. 2. I do hope Memphis Steve is not actually from Memphis as I am, because that would be sad and he needs to move ASAP. 3. Buffy was a far better attempt than Serenity. 4. Jar-Jar nearly caused me to write a letter to George Lucas and if you have been a long time reader of Atypical Reads you know how those turn out. 5. HOLY SHIT! YOUR DAD SAYS WARSH TOO? My gramps uses "worsh" mom's "warsh" and a few cousins do not bath so no need to spell. I so feel better about myself now. Thanks.

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  19. *bathe. I will proceed to lash myself mercifully with the cat'o 9 tails.

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  20. Memphis Steve, I wouldn't do anything TOO horrible.

    Bryan, there are lots of different versions of those commercials, but yours sounds right, so we'll go with it. I wasn't trying to keep anybody from seeing the movie. As you can see from Charlie, lots of people like it. Watch a trailer, then decide.

    Scott, 1)Or maybe said nerd would realize that she is also a nerd and be more forgiving because they are both nerds. 2) What did Memphis Steve do? 3) Buffy the Vampire Slayer? 4) Good lord, why does everybody hate Jar Jar so much? He's a friendly little thing, even if he doesn't speak all that well. 5) That is the most excited I've ever seen you get about something on my blog. Yes, my Dad says "warsh" and there's no use correcting him. When I told him he was saying it wrong he told me it wasn't his fault I learned to talk like a damn Yankee.

    Scott a second time, no need for the cat'o nine tails. You got all excited and couldn't help the typo.

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  21. Yes, Bryan, you really should give it a try. I loved Buffy and Angel. Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog is one of the coolest things in the world.

    Also, nothing hasty about my forgiveness. It took a lot of effort. Ü

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  22. 1. OK. But a cute nerd is so much easier than an ugly nerd is all I'm saying. 2. Nothing. It's Memphis, have you been here? I am trying the help the man. 3. yes. 4. I could tell you, but there are plenty of forums about him that do it justice. 5. Nice.

    I am at work too, trying to hurry so I can close the screen and look buszy <--see, did it again.

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  23. Charlie, I LOVE DR. HORRIBLE'S SING ALONG BLOG! I promise I wasn't yelling that at you. Expressions of excitement are limited in comments.

    Scott, 1) I don't think that's the way it works. 2)I've driven through Memphis, but I've never actually explored. What's wrong with it? 3)I WAS RIGHT! 4) So I'll google it and see what you guys have against him. 5) You would say that.

    I'm at work. I just don't bother hiding the screen. The advantage is mine. Buszy should be the name of a stuffed bunny rabbit.

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  24. SO MUCH YELLING!! I'm glad. That makes up for your dislike of Firefly even more. Have you watched the musical commentary? So good.

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  25. I have NOT watched the musical commentary. I don't think there's an option for that when you're watching it on Instant Netflix.

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  26. Nope...it is on the DVD. There are a few songs that are kinda dumb on the commentary, but then there are a few that make you cry laughing. Nate sings one called "I'm Better Than Neil" that is close to my favorite.

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  27. I bet I can find it on YouTube.

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  28. Probably. Check out "No Asians in the Movies" too.

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  29. I don't really like Nate very much. He's a jerkface. I liked "Neil's Turn." 'That's Neil with an I.'

    "But when it's time to cast the show, do they want somebody yellow? Hell nooooo...Nobody's Asian in the movies."

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  30. I don't like Nate in this either, but that is what happens with a good villain (hero). You love to hate them. Neil's rap part also makes me laugh hysterically every time.

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  31. I thought Nate was the hero/love-of-Neil's-life stealer. Aren't you supposed to hate the villain and love the hero?

    And who's crummy idea was it to kill her? That was just awful!

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  32. That is one reason it is a great little show. Joss makes you like the villain and dislike the hero. I admit my eyes may have teared up the first time I watched it and Dr Horrible stands up next to her body and breaks out, "Here lies everything. The world I wanted at my feet."

    Joss Whedon is notorious for killing off characters after working very hard to make you like them. Wash in Serenity. Spike in Buffy. Fred in Angel.

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  33. Spike died?????? I stopped watching before that...I can't believe they killed Spike! What kind of sicko does that! Did he used to work for Disney or something? Disney has a bad habit of making you like character and then killing them in terrible ways. Bambi's mom. Ellie in Up. The little Firefly in The Princess and the Frog.

    (I generally always like the villains. They are more fun to watch.)

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  34. Spike died saving the world at the end. But, he was brought back from death on Angel. He was one of my favorite characters.

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  35. Well at least he died well. I didn't want many episodes of Angel. I never cared much for Cordelia.

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  36. Cordi got all sorts of awesome on Angel...to the point that I forgot she was the same person on Buffy. A ton of developement and growth for her. He made you like her too...and then killed her off...

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  37. What? I'm beginning to see a pattern here that I do not like. He must have worked for Disney.

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  38. No...he's better at it than Disney.

    http://fandomania.com/joss-whedons-16-most-painful-character-deaths/

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  39. What a twisted soul he has. JK Rowling could have taken a leaf out of his book, though.

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  40. I don't think anyone but me is matching Bryan's posts (did you actually read the rules of the time travel club? There are no rules). I don't think he will mind, though.

    I watched a few episodes of Firefly and that "movie." It reminded me of USA's "Up All Night" with Gilbert Gottfried (probably before your time). They showed campy B-movies which were so bad they developed cult followers.

    If you approached Firefly with that mindset then it was tolerable.

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  41. Oh, wow. I just looked at Atypical.I didn't realize Scott did a serenity post as well. Bryan's time travel month got a fair amount of attention.

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  42. Doug, Bryan's a pretty popular guy around these parts. Almost as popular as you. I thought it was the rule to do time themed posts, and since I didn't want to think of my own, this seemed better. Also, I saw the title of this post and couldn't resist. It was so obvious.

    I know not about this Gilbert Gottfried of which you speak, but I will Google him.

    I liked the whole story behind the movie. Just not...the acting and the accents. ESPECIALLY the accents.

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  43. Who is Bryan? FYI, anyone who is anyone is friends with the most popular guy around, Ricky. THAT guy makes you infamous.

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  44. I don't know a Ricky.

    Well, I KNOW a Ricky, but I doubt he's the same Ricky. I don't know a Ricky in the blogging world.

    I didn't find anybody through this Ricky person. I found you guys through each other. Except Bryan. I found him because he found me.

    Who is Ricky?

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  45. I think Bryan found you through me, honestly. Back when you used to give me awards.

    How can you not know Ricky? Seriously. I thought you were getting popular, Chanel. Apparently I was mistaken.

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  46. "Back when you used to give me awards." Was that meant to sound accusative?

    Well I found you because of...Charles. Did you guys ever finish that duel?

    I didn't realize this was a popularity contest. I do not know who this Ricky person is, and now I'm starting to think you guys just made him up!

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  47. Sigh. Love me some Firefly. Love me some Firefly with some Firefly vodka.

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  48. @Doug: I think it might have been the other way around. I think I found her through you. I'm not sure, but I do remember that it involved an award. I'm not sure how I found you then. I was probably hungry and I followed the scent of cheese. I think there was a lab and a maze involved.

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  49. @Chanel: Unfortunately Ricky is very real.

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  50. "Back when you used to give me awards." No. Not accusative. It was meant to be funny. I need to work on that.

    As for the duel, sadly, no. Methinks Charles is avoiding the issue. Maybe I will try slapping him in the face again when Time Travel Month is over.

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  51. What duel? I am late in this grouping and need a historical index to catch up on things. Also, Ricky is the coolest blogging pimp this side of the dome...sphere...whatever. If you haven't met him, this is a good thing.

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  52. Nicki, there is Firefly Vodka? I bet it comes in a pretty bottle. That's the way to sell alcohol to me. In a pretty bottle.

    Bryan, I can't find any comments left by a Ricky. Unless Ricky is short for something?

    Doug, well I wasn't complaining. I thought it was funny.

    Yes, you should. I've been waiting forever and a day to see how he responded to your comic strip.

    Scott, Charles at In Review: Stuff and Things didn't answer Doug's e-mail, and Doug got all upset and said something to the effect of, "I'm better than you. I challenge you to a duel." So they each supplied three pictures of themselves making funny gestures. The idea was that they were supposed to use pictures of each other to make a comic. Whoever made the funniest comic about the other won, and the loser gets a kick in the balls from the girlfriend/wife, depending on who loses. Doug made a comic with Charles's picture, but then Charles dropped off the face of the planet for three months. When he came back, he didn't finish. Some of us are still waiting.

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  53. I was about to say, "Ricky is too cool to leave comments", but I feel like we're needlessly torturing you at this point.

    Let's see, where to begin. There is an application associated with Facebook called "Networked Blogs" where people can follow your blog, like with the Google widget that comes pre-installed. Well, this Networked Blogs has a message board on Facebook. The problem with this board is that there's about only about 5% of actual discussion and about 95% of people just spamming topic after topic to promote their usually incredibly crappy blogs. Their big thing is promising to follow people if people will follow them, which renders the whole thing pointless. You'd have to see it. Sometimes you can meet some interesting people on there. I met Scott on there, and I think that's where I met Doug as well. So it's not a complete loss.

    So, the other day, I was checking the list of blogs I follow through there, and there's this little box in the corner where they show the latest posts on the board. At the top of this box I see "Atypical Read". Well, I had to go over and mess with him of course. We went back and forth for a while parodying the spammers that infest that board. Then, of course, the real spammers started showing up. Among them was this Ricky guy. He was promoting a blog that has 1, only 1, post featuring a couple of pictures of his Asian girlfriend, and he wanted everyone to "vote" somehow for her to win some modeling contest. http://sexymodelangela.blogspot.com/ He went through topic after topic posting the same message. Now he's following my blog, Doug's blog, and probably Scott's as well. That's about all there is to say about Ricky. Dumb story, I know. But now you've heard it. God help us all.

    Here's the topic in question if the link works: Atypical Topic Facebook links are weird sometimes.

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  54. I'm a day late, but I have to add to the comments on Serenity and Firefly. Firefly was conceived to be a Western in space. Thus, cowboy-ish accents. I agree that if you didn't watch Firefly, Serenity probably wouldn't be much amusing. You've got little time to get to know characters that are just beginning to be fleshed out in a cancelled-before-its-time series. The movie really is just a way to explain who River is, which they never got to do on TV. Still, great sci-fi universe, snappy dialogue, and hot girl kicking butt. What's not to like?

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  55. First it made me agree to allow it to access my Facebook information, which makes me nervous. THEN it told me the link was not found or expired or something.

    I hate Facebook apps sometimes.

    So Ricky is like an inside joke? Did you guys vote for his girlfriend?

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  56. Brent, Star Wars was technically a space Western and they didn't have obnoxious accents. And I'm not kidding. Sometimes the dialog was not good!

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  57. Oh no...let's not start this again... Ü

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  58. No worries, like anything on Facebook you have to allow access, which is pointless because you granted access the second you signed up for the billion dollar scam. This allow access BS is just a nice way of saying go ahead and give your opinion for this crappy app, but we could careless either way.

    Here is an example of what Bryan was talking about.

    TOPIC: Here I am, sitting in a tub filled with ice and missing a spleen


    Have you any idea how much this hurts? No, you don't. You know why? Because you're not the one stuck in a tub full of bloodied ice, badly sewn and medicated with God Only Knows what kind of medicine that has lead me to give up on anyone coming for me anytime soon. Sure, I could email the a friend and tell them to get help, but what good does that do me? I'M IN EGYPT! Yeah, the place that just rioted for their freedom. I hear all of the commotion from a nearby window, prior to the surgery and too drunk to care. It was one hell of a party, let me tell you. Ahmed, my driver, tossed a molotov cocktail off the balcony of my motel room. It exploded against some asshole's Peugeot down below among a hail of words I could not understand, let alone spell. HA! ouch! my spleen is literally killing me. HA!

    At least I can say I was there. This type of revolt only happens once every 30 years or so. Hopefully this will go down as the greatest day in Egyptian history, aside from the pyramids, because, lets be honest, those things are pretty fucking cool. You know, after a few hours of slowly bleeding to death, slowed by the ice and the drugs, life is a lot easier to put into perspective. Take for example 11th grade English, Mrs. Crabtree had a grabber that sent her to the hospital for two weeks and eventual early retirement. I laughed so hard that day. Only, now I am not so sure that was the best thing to do. Karma is a bitch!

    Well, I guess I will go die now. I suggest keeping away from shotty looking places in Cairo, otherwise you might wind up in a tub with an organ or two missing. I wonder if they will mummify me? HA! *cough* *cough*

    Then this topic gets hammered with spam and the occasional person who actually wants to find out more about you, Like this guy;

    Bill Nettleton
    Ah, who needs a spleen anyway, am I right? It's as useless as a alcohol free liver for Christs sake!

    On a side note, I'm enjoying all the atypical posts!

    http://www.writtenundertheinfluence.blogspot.com

    And there you have it. OH, I did not vote for Ricky, which might be the reason he now follows me.

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  59. I couldn't find anything like that when I pulled it up through the button. But I clicked follow to see if I could find it then, but I couldn't.

    Bill is funny.

    Ricky seems like a silly individual. I do not want to meet him.

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