Oh. My. Gosh.
You guys are not going to believe this. Really. You're not.
That coworker who called in Monday and Tuesday last week because her kid was sick? She called in Saturday, too. She said allergies were so bad she couldn't see so she couldn't drive.
But there's more.
She just called in again. You know what she said? Her kid is sick. She has to take her to the doctor.
We all thought she would have surely gotten the message about her absences when a team of disgruntled coworkers ate her Valentine's candy. I'm pretty sure that, if I was in her shoes, having, "Well, if you had been here Monday it wouldn't have happened," snapped at me after complaining, I would have taken the hint.
Stop calling in and do your damn job.
Is the message really that hard to understand?
I didn't think so, but I'm evidently more intuitive. Do we need to write it out in black and white for her? Tattoo it to her forehead maybe? Backwards, of course, so she can read it when she looks in the mirror.
That complaint aside, I've decided I'm going to share something with you guys today. This is a video of Atomic Tom, one of my new favorite bands. And if you haven't seen this already...where have you been? (Yes, I learned how to upload a video just for this. Yay!)
Seeing as this band is freaking awesome with just iPhones, I figured they must be pretty talented. This video inspired my trip to Amazon where I downloaded, for a mere $7.99, the entire album with this song on it. (Amazon was also kind enough to immediately save it to my music files AND to my iTunes, making it really easy for me. Thank you, Amazon.) And you know what? They freaking rocked my socks. In fact, I'm pretty sure Apple owes them a lot of money for the advertisement.
They could make a commercial with them. Like, "Need rock instruments to play a gig? There's an app for that."
I listen to them every day. I just love the way they sound. And I love this song. It's definitely my favorite from the album. How did I not hear of them before? Well, it's probably because they're from New York and I live in Texas, and they've never played a show in Austin. I'm hoping they'll come to South By this year. (That's South By Southwest, for you non-Austinites.) I don't really care for South By. In fact, I hate it just as much as I hate ACL. (Austin City Limits.) Why?
Tourists take over the damn city. I hate tourists. They mispronounce all of the streets, ask stupid questions, and generally act entitled to my attention because they're giving our city business. Also, they wear socks with sandals. Ick.
But if they ever do come out here, I'm totally going to the show.
Speaking of shows, one of my coworkers, JC, has a gig coming up on March 14th at Kick Butt Coffee here in Austin. His band is called Attic Asylum, and it's one of four bands that he's in. This one is purely instrumental. There's a bass, a guitar, a drummer. And get this...A bassoonist.
I know, right?
The thing is, though, they're pretty pleasant to listen to when you want to relax. They've got this really mellow sound that just calms you down. If you follow that link to their Facebook you can listen to one of their recordings. It was done on a cell phone, obviously, but it's not bad.
Enough pimping other people.
My mother recently uploaded a picture onto her Facebook. I think she just took a picture of the picture rather than just scanning it into the computer, which accounts for the blurry appearance.
Doesn't matter how blurry it is, though. The point is this: I was freaking adorable. Look at that cute little face. Who could possibly resist the cuteness represented in this picture? No wonder I was everybody's favorite growing up. That face combined with my personality? I could have ruled the world.
Unfortunately, world domination didn't pop into my head until my teenage years. I missed the window of opportunity. Or...what was it Captain Jack said? "If you were waiting for the opportune moment...that was it."
Oh well. It's not too late for world domination. It's just not going to be nearly as easy now that I'm no longer that adorable. Still, what I lack in irresistible cuteness I make up for with devilish cunning.