Monday, January 10, 2011

Grammar Rule #1: If you don't know the proper use of a certain probably shouldn't print it on a t-shirt that I can mock mercilessly.

I was browsing through the shirts and tops on one of my favorite websites when I saw a shirt that I hoped was just cut off in an unfortunate place in the picture that was scaled to a thumbnail. I thought, "Surely, they didn't make such a stupid mistake and then mass produce it. Surely someone in their design team would have caught it and corrected it before it went to print." 

So I clicked the thumbnail to enlarge. 

Shock. Disappointment. Amusement.

People are so stupid nowadays that most people won't even notice the blatantly obvious mistake printed in bold all caps on this oh-so-stylish t-shirt (clearly that is sarcasm: there's nothing stylish about advertising your desperation) for all the world to see. Ten million points (and like Who's Line is it Anyway, the points don't really matter but it's fun to earn them) to the first person to call out the error. Or, you know, write it out in a comment since I can't actually hear any of you yelling at your computer screens.

Now, here's the real question: if you saw a girl wearing this t-shirt, what would you think of her intelligence?


  1. It's sad; I almost didn't notice it at first. I was focusing on the word "single" too much, I think (for purely grammatical reasons, of course.)

    There used to be this girl I worked with that was about 5 or 6 months pregnant and she was smoking and wearing a shirt that said, "Precious Cargo." I'm sure the irony was lost on her, and she most likely thought of "precious" as just meaning "cute and adorable". I think that's what a lot of people think, actually.

  2. But...single wasn't the mistake. Why was it so interesting?

    She was smoking while pregnant?

    Did somebody SLAP her? If you're going to call your baby "precious cargo" (meaning expensive, rare, cherished) then smoking while pregnant is a stupid, careless action.

  3. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with "single". I was just expecting to find the mistake there, for some reason.

    No, nobody slapped her, but it did drive me nuts, especially when she wore that shirt. It might as well have said, "I'm a bad mother, and my kid isn't even born yet."

    Of course, at the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I smoke myself (I'm trying to quit right now). But my wife didn't smoke when she was pregnant, and I didn't smoke around her when she was pregnant or around my daughter after she was born. I know, it's easy for me to stand in judgment, right? It's not something I have to face. Still, the only air and nourishment that baby gets is from its mother. It's too weak to even handle our normal air yet, and she's giving it tobacco smoke to breathe! Sorry, I can't help but be revolted, even as a smoker.

  4. I got so caught up in my "precious cargo" story that I forgot to explain what was wrong with the shirt. And here we are with ten million points on the line, too!!

    Alright, it's quite simple really. They obviously left part of the saying off the shirt. It should read, "If your single shot of vodka has turned you into a drunken fool who can't tell the difference between a possessive pronoun and a contraction and now you're going to go play in traffic and end it all, so am I!"

    That's the only way I can make any sense out of it.

  5. Well, you have more of a right to be outraged by a smoking pregnant woman than I do. I've never been a smoker, or a parent. But I know it's medically unhealthy to smoke while pregnant. Doctors don't make this stuff up.

    Ten million points to Bryan! Yay for you!

  6. haaaaaaaahahahhahaa...I can see the Jersey Shore cast wearing this.

  7. Well, it couldn't make them look any more stupid than I already know they are. It might make them look a little smarter than I give them credit for, actually.

  8. I think Bryan was looking at "Single" because of its placement on the boobs.

    Mostly, I just wanted an excuse to write 'boobs.'

    I think the shirt is perfect just the way it is. It screens out the smart folks, and lets the morons breed with one another.

  9. Are they as fascinating to you when you talk or write about them as they are when you see them? It seems to be a male obsession.

    I didn't even notice "Single" was in the boob area until you pointed it out.

  10. Yes. Talking, writing, thinking, seeing. Endlessly fascinating. We guys are pretty stupid that way.


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