Monday, November 22, 2010

HP7P1 and "The Walking Dead"

HP7P1 was freaking awesome. I loved it. Except this one scene where Hollywood took some creative privileges that it didn't have and made someone naked with someone else when they were never, even in someone else's worst nightmares, naked together. Also, they completely left out a small piece of information which I thought made all of the difference in the books...And that's as close to a spoiler as I'm going to get, because I don't know if everyone has seen it.

I admit, I worried about them splitting the movies up into two parts to get it all done right. I was concerned they would leave off somewhere incredibly inconvenient, and I frankly didn't think there was anywhere they could stop that wouldn't suck completely. The pleasant surprise was that they ended it well, though I do hate a cliffhanger in a movie almost as much as I hate it in a book.

Of course, what really sucked about this whole thing was that after the movie I couldn't help ranting that the second movie was going to put into visual concrete the biggest cop-out any writer has ever done in a book before to appease fans, and I went off about people dying and then not staying dead, though it would have been tragic and beautiful if he had stayed dead, and then of course Padawan just popped up, "Hey! Don't ruin it for me!"

And then he had the nerve, that audacity, to stand there and tell me that he had stopped reading the series after the third book and he had no idea where this was going and had no idea how it ended. You can rest assured, I was disappointed in him. And then I felt bad for spoiling the ending for him. And then I went on to being angry that he had copped out of the series right before the best book, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I mean, WTF, mate? Who stops in the middle of a series but goes on to watch all of the movies?

"Why read the story when the movie tells it for me?"

Gah. How could he say such a thing????

Yes. I was so baffled by his reasoning that I actually had to end with four question marks. 

Anyway, enough of HP7P1. I've been obsessing over Tom Felton lately, and if I keep going I might wind up breaking down, in minute detail, every second of Tom's five minutes on screen in which he totally owned, while managing to look damn sexy, despite his obvious fear of Bellatrix and Voldemort. (Haha...I said his name. Or wrote it. Whee!) 

Moving on...

I'm pretty much the biggest chicken on the planet. I can't watch even the dumbest horror movies without hiding under the covers, and Zombies terrify me, which is why it is completely shocking to me and everyone I know that I absolutely love that new AMC series The Walking Dead and the movie Zombieland. Alright, maybe the reason I love Zombieland so much is because it's really just a lot of humor with some Zombies in it, and it has Jesse Eisenberg...

But there is no actor I'm attracted to or any comic relief in The Walking Dead, so I can't figure out how I manage to love it so much. Despite my difficulties with far less disgusting movies, sitting through The Walking Dead isn't difficult for me: I don't feel the need to hide or scream (except in cheering on the Survivors) or anything while I'm watching. Although, I will admit that episode three where they dismembered the Walker and rubbed his insides all over themselves so they smelled dead and not alive made my stomach churn with disgust and I had to look away a couple of times.

And according to this article there are very few people who could actually sleep as soundly as I did after watching last night's stellar episode. And I have to say, mad props to whoever directed and wrote the screenplays of Walking Dead, because it's a really realistic experience. It feels like it's actually is happening, or could happen, which is probably why it makes it so hard for other people to sit through and sleep after. As for me, well, I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing. Though it feels like reality to watch the characters, I can separate myself from it because, hey, it's not happening to me. Whereas with other Zombie flicks it's so impossible and obviously fake that my imagination takes off after sleepy-sleeps and my mind creates a monstrous embellishment of the already ludicrous scenes, and I have horrifying nightmares that leave me cowering in fear of the closet and the space between the bed and the floor where monsters might be lurking in the darkness, waiting to grab my small ankles and take a bite of my calf. 

Anyway, I've received a list of characters and their statuses (alive, deceased, unknown) as of the latest issue of the comic on which it is all based, but I'm not sharing it with any of you because that would truly spoil the whole thing for everyone. I had to read the list because suspense doesn't really sit well with me, and it's easier for me to know what's going to happen than it is for me to sit there biting my nails and screaming encouragement to the characters. (Run, Glenn! Run faster! Gah!) 

Also, if The Walking Dead had been a book instead of a comic, I would have read it after watching episode one and would totally have already known this information in the first place. I'm even just a little tempted to buy the comic books just to know it all, but I've never like comic books or even real books with illustrations because I like to imagine everything myself and not have it painted out for me. Also, there's something like 78 issues of The Walking Dead and that would be one expensive investment if we're talking five bucks an issue, which seems like a reasonable price for a comic book. I don't really know: the only comic books I ever read were Batman, and even then they were a gift so I have no idea how much they cost then or now. 

But that is neither here nor there. Back to the point: if you guys haven't been watching AMC's The Walking Dead, you should start, because if I can enjoy it, and I'm a big chicken, then anyone can. Except children. I would totally never recommend that you allow anyone under the age of thirteen to watch this series because it is horrifyingly graphic, realistic, and disgusting. Padawan and I would never in a million years let Little Brother watch this show, even in daylight, because it's just too scary for children. (It's too scary for me, except that I can distance myself from it and not be scared. But if I was living it, I would totally be horrified. Or a more compassionate person.) But anyone over the age of thirteen can certainly love watching this series, even though it IS right before bed time. I just wouldn't try to eat while watching it. You might lose your dinner.

To end on a lighter note, I'm hungry and feel like eating lunch.


  1. I still don't think I could handle the gore and graphic-ness of a series like that. I'm a COMPLETE chicken, I won't even go to haunted houses at Halloween-time. Not even the cheesy ones. If anyone jumps out and startles me, even if it's my 5-year-old son, they will definitely get yelled at and sometimes even slapped. (It depends on HOW startled I am, and whether or not they're within arm's reach...)

    Anyhoo, I'm glad you liked HP7P1. I'm looking forward to seeing it, whenever THAT finally happens. It may have to wait until the end of the semester...we'll see.

    PS: What the freaking CRAP?!?! Padawan should not be allowed to see the second half of the Deathly Hallows movie until he finishes the books! NO MOVIE WILL EVER BE ANYWHERE NEAR THE SAME LEVEL OF AWESOMENESS AS THE BOOKS!!! Okay, I'm finished with my ranting. For now...

  2. You're preaching to the choir on this one. Haunted houses? Me? No freaking way. I'm entirely too easily thrown into panic attacks when creatures jump out at me. I freak out sometimes when I come out of the hallway at work and a customer is standing around the corner looking at books. So I know EXACTLY how you feel about haunted houses and scary movies. Which is why it's so weird that I like this series. Padawan says it's because I love the character development, and since the action is more human on zombie violence than the other way around, it's more palatable for me. Also, there's a small level of suspense when it comes to scary things happening. Although when it opens up with the cop shooting the little girl feels a little wrong at first. But still AWESOME. I can't say ENOUGH about this show. Seriously...just try. You'll find it's not scary.

    You should see it. You shouldn't wait. See it NOW. You're only denying yourself the AWESOME for too long. Seriously. Just do it.

    P.S. That's what I told him! Hello, I've got the ENTIRE SERIES in hardback sitting on my overstocked bookshelf just WAITING to be picked up and read by someone who doesn't read them! I mean, seriously?!?!?!?!?! What was he THINKING? I had no idea...I just assumed that EVERYBODY read the books! It wasn't fair for him to sit there and not know anything! I mean, really! The nerve! I just...there is no WORD combination that could possibly describe my emotions when I learned that he GAVE UP! For crying out loud, he read the ENTIRE Twilight series! And those were NOTHING CLOSE to the awesome of Harry Potter! I just...oh, now I've gone and gotten myself all worked up.

  3. My husband HATED fiction books, he'd never read and finished a novel up until he saw a preview for the Harry Potter 1 movie. After months of us nagging him, he'd held strong, refusing to read even a page of Harry Potter. However, once he saw that preview and had an idea of exactly what the storyline was, he agreed to read the first chapter of the first book, but if he didn't like it we all had to get off his back and never nag him about it again. Needless to say, he finished all four books (it was all that was available at the time) in about two weeks and has devoured every one of them just as greedily as the rest of us. (By "us" I mean my mother, siblings, and I). Padawan is required to finish the series. It's important, dang it!!!

    Then...Husband mocked me for loving the Twilight series. He agreed to go see the movie with me, and halfway through he leaned over and whispered: "Ok, I need to read this book." He was a trooper and finished all four books. He liked them, but in true awesomeness fashion, he LOVES Harry Potter. We're planning to see the movie tomorrow. GAAAH!!! So exciting! :)

  4. Your husband sounds like Padawan. Except that he knows when to take one for the team and give in.

    Really? Padawan HATES the Twilight movies. He enjoyed the books, but he only read them because I was always talking about the characters like they were real people and he got tired of not understanding what I was talking about. But he tries to get out of it every time I drag him off to see a midnight premiere of the movies, though he has admitted that Eclipse was a definite improvement.

    I will put the pressure on Padawan HARD to read the other books. But it will have to wait until we move because I just packed all of the books on Sunday, and I'm not sure which of the four hardback boxes I packed Harry Potter into...But he will DEFINITELY be reading them before the last movie. Rest assured, I WILL win this battle!

  5. The Twilight movie was a mixed experience. My husband told me the movie made him want to read the books because "It's a good story." The "acting" in the movies hasn't impressed either of us very much. We haven't even seen "Eclipse" yet. We will, though. I'm curious enough to give it a shot.

  6. It's like Kristin and Rob took acting lessons for the third one. It was much improved. Padawan didn't threaten to drink himself into a stupor ten minutes in. I still say Tom Felton would have made a perfect Edward, though.


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