My Uncle C called me early Friday afternoon and asked me for "a huge favor."
He was going out of town first thing Saturday morning, and his dog sitter had canceled at the last minute. He had, of course, asked my grandparents first. My grandmother loves to have Pandy (that's his dog) over for the weekend. Probably because Pandy is nothing but a big teddy bear and loves nothing more than to lounge about in whatever lap is available.
This just happens to be the weekend that the whole family, excepting Uncle C and myself, have gone to Dallas to see my cousin Brick graduate from high school. (If you consider this side of the family, graduating high school is a really big deal. Especially when you graduate in the top ten percent.)
So he called me. And he felt bad because he knows I live in an apartment with brand new, white carpets and he really didn't want to bother me, but he was desperate.
Well, I immediately said that I had absolutely no problem taking Pandy for a couple of days, but I had to check with Padawan and the apartments because it wasn't just my decisions. A quick call to the Office and an IM to Padawan and I got an easy "yes" on both counts. I agreed to take Pandy for what amounts to a total of thirty six hours. (Assuming she leaves at nine tonight.)
As luck would have it, I was already off on Saturday so I could stay with Pandy and Choo Choo all day. A call from Mother and I also had charge of Master Plo Koone for Saturday as well. A full day of doggy and child day care.
The thing is, I adore Pandy. She's adorable and sweet.
Of course, there was a minor tiff between her and Choo Choo when she first arrived over who is and who isn't allowed to occupy my lap when it's available for occupation. (Choo Choo won that round.) And then another minor tiff when Choo Choo ate from Pandy's bowl, so Pandy ate from Choo Choo's bowl and my dog, trying to prove just who the Alpha Dog is in this apartment, tried to put her in her place. However, Pandy won that round (before I could even intervene) and delivered a well placed bite to Choo Choo's ear that left red teeth impressions on the inside. Needless to say, there were no more fights over the dog bowls.
They even became friends.
Master Plo Koone arrived around the same time Pandy did, and despite Choo Choo's angry glares, they became good friends.
I had been awake for all of thirty minutes at this point. I hadn't made the bed yet, so don't judge.
I know, of course, that you can't just agree to take a dog for a few days and expect her to run on your dog's walk schedule automatically, especially since the only kind of schedule she has is going to bed at ten thirty every night. So I decided to take her out for walkies, which Choo Choo of course, every two hours to prevent any kind of accident.
Uncle C mentioned she's "good at not going inside, but she's still a puppy and has occasional accidents." I was doubly determined to take her out every two hours.
Twenty minutes after her first walk with Choo Choo, Master Plo Koone, and myself, Pandy made a number two on my carpet. She had walked around outside for half an hour, and had decided when she was ready to come up. She literally pulled at the leash until we let her go back upstairs. I was a little upset, but more with myself for not waiting longer than with her for an accident.
Two hours later I took her for another walk. Choo Choo went immediately, as she always does when she goes outside no matter if it's on her usual schedule or not, but Pandy dilly dallied before finally relieving herself. When she finished she headed right up the stairs and inside the apartment.
Where she proceed to piss in three different spots not even fifteen minutes after I brought her back up.
I steam vac-ed the spots and shot an enzyme treatment over the carpet, just in case, and didn't say anything.
Two hours later, we all went out again for a walk. Thirty minutes of the blazing Texas heat and she did nothing. Then Master Plo Koone decided he wanted to go swimming so I pinned Pandy up in the kitchen, left Choo Choo running free, and we went to the pool for an hour. We got back at three o'clock and Pandy had peed on my braided run by the kitchen sink. At least it was something I could just pick up and toss in the washer.
An hour after that I took her out again, and she peed. But she fucking pissed again within minutes of getting back upstairs. It was at this point that I decided she was doing it on purpose. She clearly knew she was supposed to go outside, but she held it and let it go inside in small little spots all over the place intentionally. This was premeditated spot marking, and I'm convinced she was doing it to show Choo Choo who really owns this apartment.
I was at a loss for a moment when trying to think of how to punish her. Pandy is not my dog. I do not know how she generally is punished for going potty inside. A spray of water to the face? A spanking? I didn't know. So I gave her a vicious, very angry, verbal scolding in my best "I am the Queen and you have displeased me" voice. I thought she got the message because she put her head down and covered her face with her paws in what was obvious shame and contrition. She didn't have another "accident" for the remainder of the day.
She and Choo Choo both just followed me around for the rest of the day, occasionally stopping together to watch me when I paused to do something.
I thought, all in all, we'd made a lot of progress by the time Mother came for Master Plo Koone. The two had learned to share the bed with each other. I laid down for a nap after the pool and they had a tiff when Pandy tried to curl up by my side where Choo Choo generally sleeps under the covers with me.
Padawan came home and Pandy alternated between sitting in his lap and mine while Choo Choo growled from whoever's lap she was occupying at the time.
I took them out for their last walks at ten thirty, and Pandy did everything all in one go outside. She immediately hopped into bed (as I said, her only real scheduled habit is bedtime at ten thirty) and slept quietly on my feet the whole night, only waking me up once when she was digging at the covers, trying to get to Choo Choo.
Everything was find and dandy when Padawan woke me at eight fifteen saying, "I think the dogs need to go out." In the time it took me to throw the covers off of myself and sit up, I had time to watch Pandy acknowledge that I was awake, jump off of the bed, and take a dump right there next to my desk.
I scolded, cleaned it up, sprayed it with the enzyme cleaner, and took them both out. And then two hours later, I took them out again. And then Pandy pissed in three different places. And I cleaned it and steam vac-ed again. And took them out again. And again, she peed. And I scolded and scolded and threatened her with a trip straight into her kennel.
She's curled up on the couch, now, dejected and laying under a cloud of shame. Choo Choo won't go anywhere near her right now. I think she's maybe gloating a little that Pandy is in trouble for behavior that is easily controlled. (Though my dog did get in trouble when Pandy first arrived because, in a fit of bitchyness, Choo Choo squatted right in front of Padawan after her walk and left a little pee spot, followed a small little pebble of a poop. She did it right in the middle of the room, watching us. Clearly, it was a statement against Pandy's presence, but Padawan punished her to let her know that her opinion was not acceptably expressed.)
I'm debating on whether or not to mention these "accidents" to my Uncle. But I'm pretty sure I'm going to suggest that next time he bring puppy pads for her. Because, frankly, Pandy has the most acrid, concentrated urine I've ever smelled and just one tiny little spot no bigger than a water bottle cap makes the entire living room smell.