Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Eating Fleshy Slugs

You guys get to know who got the Classic Post Award on Friday. I've got something to tell you today.

I...don't like Sushi.

There. I said it. 

It's not that I haven't tried. I've tried so many times to like it, and it just never seems to work out. 

I think my biggest issue is that I really don't enjoy any kind of seafood. I mean, I think lobster is okay and I'll eat fried catfish as long as you tell me it's chicken, and I'll even eat calamari so long as it's chopped up and not fried whole body together so that when I pick it up there's a little body that looks like it should be in the ocean playing with Nemo and not sitting on my plate, but I really can't stand eating things that look like they could just jump off of my plate and swim away. Like shrimp, and lobster, and crab.

And my OTHER biggest issue with Sushi (aside from the raw fish factor) is that they combine everything together, but separately, so that each distinct flavor hits you separately. I am a stubborn believer in separate foods staying separate. If they aren't blended together in a homogeneous way, I don't want it touching. My macaroni does not touch my mashed potatoes and gravy, which does not touch my chicken, which does not touch my dinner roll, which doesn't touch my salad. A lot of times this requires separate dishes, but that's fine with me. I don't want it touching. 

Sushi is all one piece of avocado with one piece of crab and wrap that in rice and then wrap that in seaweed. I seriously can't stand that because, when it comes down to it, chewing all of those flavors together so that I get hit with the raw taste of crab by itself is revolting. In fact, when I tried that California Roll with my lunch yesterday I gagged and spit it back out onto my soup spoon. 

I tried. These things are just...not for me.

The combination of everything wrong with Sushi plus my own thought that ew, it's raw fish makes it pretty difficult to enjoy it. In fact, even the dessert course was difficult for me because on the one hand I loved the three different sauces the dessert was covered in, and I loved the breading and the cream cheese...but when I bit into the crab I had to fight the urge to gag. I seriously sat there, chewing, alternating between oh my god, this is so delicious and ew, I'm going to be sick. I'm going to gag! 

Dizzy found it extremely entertaining, but even just looking at what he was eating made me want to gag.

This is what he ate, and it looks like fleshy slugs. Yuck!

Yesterday I came home and told Padawan, "I think today was my last ditch attempt to open myself up to the idea of Sushi. I'm seriously done trying it this time. I will never like it."

"That's too bad. I love Sushi."

"Yes, I know. But we can still go to Sushi restaurants. I'll just order something with chicken. All Sushi restaurants serve cooked things for us picky eaters."

Padawan has opened me up to a lot of things I didn't eat before. I like lobster (cut up so I don't have to feel bad) and I like calamari because of him. But my ability to eat seafood has a definite stopping point: I want my seafood cooked, thank you.

Which is interesting considering that I will not eat steak if it is cooked above medium rare, and the truth is I like it just browned on the inside and just warm enough in the center that it doesn't bleed all over my plate in a way that will make me nauseous. My steaks are pretty much raw but I won't even entertain the notion of eating tuna that raw.

At least I can say I tried, and on more than one occasion. I'm just one of those people for whom Sushi is not a good idea. But I'll keep trying with carrots. Maybe one day I'll like them.


  1. I like seafood, for the most part, but I have no interest in eating raw fish. I have eaten oysters straight from the shell, but nothing I needed to chew.
    I'm there with you on the steak. I hate overcooked steak, I always order rare and can deal with medium rare if it is tender.

  2. I'm with you on this one Chanel

  3. I like my steak "black and blue, but warm all the way through" So I totally understand your steak thing.

    Sushi has grown on me. But not whole calamari, EWW cut those little suckers up.

    Always entertaining my dear. Thank you.

  4. I'm with you on the sushi. The whole concept is wrong wrong wrong. But, yes, you can order chicken tempura or something that at a sushi place. Because it's fried, it's good. Maybe they should deep fry the sushi. Then it would be cooked and what would be the point?

    Anyway, sometimes you have to combine your foods. Take bacon and eggs. Good alone. Awesome at the same time. True story.

  5. You have to apply the ridiculously hot paste (wasabi!) and have your mouth burn like hell and then the other flavors are less important to you, until the food is already down the gullet. Then you chug some hot saki (Hot Alcohol for the soul) and do it all over again. I think this is the Japanese version of getting wasted on Tequila shots and lime wedges. But I have an overactive imagination.

  6. George, you are braver than me. I can't stomach the idea of oysters. When someone describes a flavor as "briney" I know it's not something I want to put in my mouth.

    KatieSue, glad I'm not the only one!

    Rebecca, everyone says "Keep trying it. It will grow on you." How do you get it to grow on you? I keep trying and it's always the same!

    Brent, maybe you should tell them they should fry the sushi before serving it. Maybe they eat it raw because they never considering frying it?

    Scott, I like Sake. It's really good, and one of the few alcohols available that I don't mind drinking straight. You may be right. But I don't like Wasabi. I don't like anything too spicy to enjoy.

  7. I hate eating fish. I'll eat a bite of shrimp or lobster or crab VERY rarely, but that's the extent of it. It all makes me sick. Hate. It. So I'm sure you can imagine my disgust when I think about eating that crap RAW! Dis. Gust. Ing!!!!

    I love steak, though. I can't do medium rare, but I can do medium or medium well. I like a little pink in the middle of the steak, but not too much. Aw MAN!!! Now I've got a SERIOUS craving for Filet Mignon. Maybe I'll request a steak place for my next big date night with Tyler. :)

  8. I've never tried sushi. I avoid sushi. I try not to even look at it for too long, let alone eat it. I'm not too big on seafood, either. I like shrimp and so on, a little. But raw fish? Nooooo!!!

  9. Candice, I'm glad to see we agree on this! But...then again...knowing how alike we are in other areas of our lives, it really isn't surprising.

    I could change your life with steak, though. Padawan used to order his steak well done until he had some of mine...It's not so much thinking of it as raw as it is thinking of it as FULL OF FLAVOR.

    Bryan, you two? See, everyone has me convinced I'm just crazy when it comes to this but...

    Goodness, NONE of you like Sushi very much, proving that I am, in fact, not being crazy!

  10. I have long suspected that sushi was an elaborate joke on us by the Japanese. They set up this elaborate ruse as a jest and when it caught on they were dumbfounded and then just continued taking our money and laughing back in the kitchen. "They are eating RAW FISH and paying us for it! Can you believe it? Hee hee hee!!! Let's find some more nasty crap we can put in there!" I thought the same thing about the French when Perrier got so popular. "OMFG, he just paid five dollars for a glass of water! Holy snap! I'll go be really rude to him now so he'll leave a bigger tip!"

  11. Ha! Stoopeed Amereecans! Zey are so stoopeed I bet we can sell zem wahtehr!

    Typing out a French accent is difficult.

  12. OMG! Another sushi hater!!! YAY! I can't get near the stuff or I'll start gagging. Bad. I'm just not a fish person...I just don't like it. I've tried, but I figure when my nose scrunches, my mouth turns down, and I grimace, I need to stop trying.

    I'm passing an award to you in just a little bit! :)

  13. There are far fewer sushi lovers in the world than I thought. I'm not alone! Yay!

    Whee! Awards are fun!


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