Friday, March 25, 2011

At the Vet

TuesdayBrat was supposed to get married, but she changed her mind (because of me, I have confirmed) and so all I had to do was take Choo Choo to the vet for her shots and check up. The appointment was scheduled for ten in the morning, so I told work I'd be in by noon instead of taking the whole day off.

Well, it's a good thing I set that up. I didn't expect to be in that late. But I hadn't really expected on having to go home to wash myself off and change my clothes. I assumed I'd be in by eleven at the latest. And if Choo Choo's vet wasn't in Cedar Park, I could have been in by ten thirty regardless.

Back to the story...Choo Choo and I waited for twenty minutes in Exam Room 1 because we were early. (Padawan waited in the car because he doesn't like going inside.) When the technician came in (sort of like a medical assistant at a doctor's office, she comes in to ask questions before the vet comes in) she asked me the usual questions: has she been eating, sleeping, drinking, playing like normal? Coughing, sneezing? 

"She's been fine."

"Have you noticed anything unusual?"

"Actually, yes. I checked her teeth a few days ago and I think her Greenies aren't cleaning her teeth properly because of her overbite. Do I need to schedule her for a cleaning? Also, she's been chewing at the base of her tail obsessively. She's actually gnawed a bald spot on the side. I was wondering if there was something wrong?"

"Does she have allergies?"


"Do you treat her for them?"

"1/4 a Benadryl  a day."

"Does it help?" 

"Yeah. Takes care of the sneezing and watery eyes."

"Does she drag herself across the carpet?"

"Well, little dogs often have trouble with their anal sacs building up fluid. We can take care of that and she'll stop biting her tail."

So they took Choo Choo into the back and did what they needed to do, plus clipped her nails because she won't let me do that. When they brought her back in she immediately jumped in my lap as the vet came in (it wasn't Dr. Spacey because he doesn't work on Tuesdays, it was a new one) and he said, "Her sacs were extremely full." At that, I felt something warm and wet on my leg.

I moved Choo Choo. 

Huge wet spot on my jeans where she'd been sitting. Anal sac fluid. On my jeans. Oh god.

It took a lot of self control to not jump up and freak out. But I held it in.

Oh, God. Anal fluid on my jeans! Will this come out? How many times will I have to wash these before it's safe again? Should I throw them away? No! These are my favorite skinny jeans! I can't just toss them out!

Then the Vet asked, "You're concerned about her teeth?" and started examining her mouth. Well that distracted me. "On a scale of 1 to 4, 1 being the best and 4 being the worst, Choo Choo's teeth are a 1. It's surprising. She's almost three?"

I nodded. 

"Very surprising. A lot of small dogs have teeth problems early on. You've been doing really well. You use Greenies?"

Another nod.

"Well, if you're concerned they're not as effective as they could be, you could try these. They're raw hide with the same enzymes in them as the Greenies, but they're harder to chew. They last longer, and they scrape away buildup better. It might help, or you could try brushing her teeth with a brush and toothpaste."

" We've tried that. She broke three toothbrushes. We'll try the rawhide chews."

Then he started examining her legs and knees. She just sat there and let him do his thing. She licked his hands every time she got the chance. "You know, she's a remarkably well behaved Chihuahua. Have you had her since she was a puppy?"

"Yes, I got her when she was six weeks old."

"Did you send her to a trainer?"


"You've done a good job socializing her. She's friendly and calm. She's not even growling."

Ah, I glowed with motherly pride. I love to hear people comment on what a good dog I've raised. "Well, I've got a really big family. She's used to people. Her problem isn't loving people. It's barking to get their attention when she sees them in the distance."

"Does she bark a lot inside?"

"Only when someone comes to the door."

A cat meowed outside the Exam Room. Choo Choo turned to face the door, wagged her tail and whined desperately. Vet looked at me. "She wants to play with the cat."

"She likes cats?"

"Yes. I think she thinks she is one."

"Very interesting. Do you have a cat?"

"No. I used to, but not anymore."

"Other dogs?" 

"We used to have a Sheltie, but someone stole him a couple of weeks after we got her."

"She's an only child then. Happy girl, aren't you, Choo Choo?" She licked his hand and wagged her tail and rolled over so he could scratch her belly. My dog is a glutton for petting. "She's so unusual for a Chihuahua. She's not even shaking."

"She's a good dog."
"Where did you get her?"

"From a breeder in Manor."

"She registered?"

"Yup. CKC." 

"Well, I guess she's so well adjusted because she's well loved, then. It proves anything with possible with a dog if the right person raises them." 

I smiled and said thank you. Then he had to give her the shots and nose spray she desperately needed. Choo Choo doesn't particularly enjoy shots, but she knows to hold still for them. She absolutely does not, however, like the nose spray being shoved up her nose. She fought that one (no barking, growling, or biting, though) and snorted when it was done. Then she looked at him like, "What the hell was that for? I thought we were friends!"

"You're a good girl, Choo Choo. We'll see you in April for your surgery."  He gave her treat and a pat on the head and then we went to pay our bill. For the record, Choo Choo was negative for worms, heart worms,  and other parasites. Also she doesn't have diabetes. Her knees and back are healthy. She has no hip problems. She still has a ridiculous overbite, but it's part of her charm.

I've washed my jeans three times. I'm almost sure I can wear them again. I think maybe one more trip in the washer might be enough to overcome my desire to not touch them..

Right when I got home my boss called. He'd forgotten I was taking Choo Choo to the Vet so he was checking to see why I was late. When I called back he was busy so I left a message with the receptionist to tell him that Choo Choo's appointment had run late because they had to do an anal sac cleanse and it had gotten on my jeans and I needed to change and clean up before coming to work.

When I walked in the door the guys were like, "Jazz said you were running late because of something about anal sex?"

Men are such pigs.


  1. I'm glad Choo Choo is ok. You are lucky she didn't have worms. Deuce had worms that needed to be treated. He got them while we were living in New Orleans. We were flat broe at the time so we weren't giving him Heartguard at the time. BIG MISTAKE! To treat his worms which were pretty bad (Thanks Louisiana swamps!), it cost us over $1000. That dog better live forever.
    And the anal sex comment...CLASSIC! LMAO!

  2. Yeah, I give her Revolution to prevent heart worms, ticks, and fleas. I always have her tested for them, though, because heart worms are especially prevalent in Texas. I've been told that heart worms cost more to treat than it does to pay for the prevention for their whole life. Considering the stray that our repair man took in who had worms and the treatments he had to go through, I know it's a miserable time for the dog and the people caring for him.

    I'm sorry Deuce got them. Mosquitoes are terrible harbingers of disease and plague. Nasty things. But at least heart worms are curable.

  3. Just because we're pigs doesn't mean we want to be reminded of it. Dr. Spacey, really? Does he do imitations like the other Spacey?

  4. Well obviously there are exceptions to the rule. But seriously, she said anal sacs and they heard anal sex.

    Well, I call him Dr. Spacey because he looks and sounds exactly like Kevin Spacey. I can't say his real name. That would be wrong. He does a really good Kevin Spacey impression. For all I know he really is Kevin Spacey.

  5. If I had a list of phrases I never expected to read here, "anal sac fluid" would have been in the top five.

  6. Anal sac fluid? Chanel, you're not doing a great job of convincing me pets are not just a "drain" on us humans. (This is another example of when I feel the need to explain my joke. But you got it.)
    Maybe you need to post a picture...
    It Just Got Interesting

  7. Oink..Oink

    I can honestly say that's the best anal sac story I've ever heard. Seriously.


  8. I think that's the best reason for being late to work I've heard in a long, long time.

  9. Really, you should have known that was going to pop into somebody's head when you said it. Another case of TMI backfire.

  10. Doug, if I had a list of top five topics I never expected to talk about on this blog, anal sac fluid would have made the list. But at least I know I'm still full of surprises.

    Brent, haha. A drain. I got it! See. You don't need to explain things to me.

    Choo Choo is what I have in place of children. And in the long run she's going to cost me a lot less than a kid. That's my advantage. And in exchange for food and shelter and health she gives me loyalty, affection, and amusement without back talk. I see another advantage.

    Bryan, how is that not the ONLY one you've heard? I'd never heard of anal sacs before that trip to the vet.

    Nicki, it's amusing to hear it. Still not to pleased that it happened. Sooooo gross.

    Darev, how could I possibly have known they would turn it into that? That's not my first thought. My first thought is, "GROSS!" And it wasn't TMI. If I had just said, "I spilled something on my jeans" they would have told me to come in without changing.

  11. I glad you mention the sac relief because I was beginning to think the vet was a sicko. Every time I take my little mutt to the vet, they expel the anal sac and the smell last for days no matter how many bathes you give her.

    No, at least, I know there is a reason for this. Kind of makes me wonder if there is any benefit for massaging my own sac. (see, no one else thought to say that and get the reaction I just got from you. My job here is done.)

    My bitch also chews at her back, which the sac relief did not help. The pervert told me it might be due to back issues (small dogs are a pain in the ass when it comes to the back.) there is something, similar to mange, they get too that causes itching to the point of hair loss that a spray the vet gets you helps with.

  12. Ewww, gross!!! You're less wasteful than I am. I probably would have thrown those jeans away after burning them first.

    However, grossness aside, I'm very glad to hear that Choo Choo is doing so well. You should be proud of yourself for raising her the way you have. I've never seen a Chihuahua that didn't shake like a leaf all the time. Choo Choo must be a rare exception. :)

  13. Scott: Ew. Choo Choo got a bath later that day and she smells clean now. Maybe your dog has really bad, smelly sacs.

    I don't think we have that problem. Though you can have your colon cleaned out if you want.

    Choo Choo stopped chewing the tail. What kind of dog do you have that likes to chew herself up? Maybe she's depressed. Dog chew themselves when they're depressed, you know. I don't know what Mange is, but I will look it up momentarily.

    Candice, it was a close call...I nearly threw them out. I really considered it. But my mom bought them for me and they're really, REALLY cute.

    Choo Choo shakes when she's cold, but not when meeting people. I was bragging about it to Padawan about how good Choo Choo is and he said, "Good God, it's an accident of Nature! She could have been just as bad as any other Chihuahua." Nature versus nurture wins this one. I raised her well. (Though she still really hates Dog Kicking Bitch.) Oh, she also shakes when I use my Angry Tone because she wants my pity. Choo Choo is a very good, smart little dog. She's my pride and joy.


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