Thursday, January 5, 2012


It makes me laugh when I see people walk face first into a door.

The door clearly has a handle. It says "PULL" in perfect English. 

And yet people will walk up, put their hands on it, and push forward with such effort that they smack their face into the glass. The thunk is always audible no matter where you are in the store. Everybody looks up. It's a pretty distinctive sound.

The idiot always looks surprised, like how the hell did that happen? They stare at the door like it has betrayed them somehow, like they are baffled by the concept of pulling to get in. It reminds me of when I take my dog out for a walk and the grass is wet. They have the same reaction.

But the best part is sometimes the same person who tried pushing to get in tries to pull to get out. It's like a double helping of stupidity.

I like to leave the face smudges on the glass up for a few days, so that when I look at it I can remember the person who stupidly pushed instead of pulled.

But that's all changed now. We can't leave the face smudges up anymore because the windows have to be cleaned every day. I'm going to miss the smudges. My only comfort is that I can rewind the video feed and save it to USB so I can watch it over and over and over again.

Sometimes being the only person capable of using the security system has its advantages. 


  1. I think we need to have one of these videos uploaded. Maybe make a montage and set it to some good music?

  2. Tee Hee...I would giggle all day if I got to see/hear something like that. Sorry you can't enjoy the smudges anymore, but as you say, you'll always have the security footage. Way to make the best you can out of what you have. :)

  3. You could make a video montage and put it on YouTube! Or at least up here. I wanna see!

  4. Joshua, it's not like I can take the security footage home. I'd probably get fired if I tried. I can watch it at the store as much as I choose.

    Candice, it's one of my favorite parts of the day, watching someone walk into the door.

    Rev, what is this montage thing? I can't do that! If I took footage to make fun of our customers and they found out I'd get BUSTED.

  5. You'd think people would be hip to the fact by now that all doors on public buildings always open outwards, while doors on private residences open inwards. It's a fire code thing. Years ago there was a fire in a school in Collinwood, which is near Cleveland. The doors at the time opened inward, and when the panicking crowd of students rushed for the exit, the kids at the front of the crowd were pinned against the doors and they couldn't get enough room to pull them open. Needless to say, the story doesn't have a happy ending.

  6. You'd think people would be smart enough to understand a lot of basic things.

    But then you have those thousands of people who signed a petition to ban water.
    Dihydrogen monoxide:
    - is the major component of acid rain
    - contributes to the "greenhouse effect"
    - it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
    - contributes to erosion
    - accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals
    - may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes
    - has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

    Despite the dangers, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
    - as an industrial solvent and coolant.
    - in nuclear power plants.
    - in the production of styrofoam.
    - as a fire retardant.
    - in many forms of cruel animal research.
    - as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.

    Most people couldn't figure out that Dihydrogen Monoxide is just H2O.

  7. Ha, yeah I've heard of the dihydrogen monoxide thing. I know quite a few people who would fall for that.

  8. Padawan's only reaction was that there was no such thing as dihydrogent monoxide, and when I wrote it out for him as H2O he said, "Nobody calls it that!"

  9. I certainly wouldn't want you to get busted. I'll just sit here and imagine the scenes in my own head.

  10. I'm giggling over the dihydrogen monoxide thing.


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