Friday, June 10, 2011

Disconnected Thoughts

I can't decide if yoga is the greatest idea I've ever had, or the clearest indication that I am something of a masochist deep down.  It always leaves me feeling good at the end of class, and the next morning I get out of bed in physical agony as my muscles protest their use. I generally walk around like an old woman for the first half hour after I wake. My leg muscles are just that stiff.

I am working right now, but I'm not clocked in. None of us are. In the infinite wisdom of the head hancho, the assistant managers were not given the password to the management computer when the new system was installed yesterday. Unfortunately, the store manager doesn't work on Fridays, and we have to use his computer to clock in. When we called for the password, Manager Man just told the assistant manager to keep track of everyone's hours.

This leads us to two conclusions: Manager Man doesn't know his own new password, or Manager Man is not going to give the assistant managers the password so that we can never clock ourselves in again. This will make it amazingly easy to cheat us on our hours, which is illegal. But that didn't stop them from taking an hour of Dizzy's time away when he didn't get to take a lunch one day because he was literally so busy he didn't get the chance to slow down until almost six o'clock. By that time it was stupid to just stick around so the logical thing would have been to let him leave an hour early. But Manager Man wouldn't let him, then deducted an hour from the middle of the day. When Dizzy saw it in his hours, he argued that it was illegal, and only after threatening to report the company to Texas Work Force (or something like that) did he get his hour back. You have to watch your hours carefully here. They will round down any time they get the chance to save a little money.

Clueless has started taking a class for drunk drivers. Not because she thinks she has a problem, and certainly not because she thinks she did anything wrong. She's doing it because her lawyer told her the judge would probably lighten her sentence if she signed up for it.

I think that any judge is going to look at her first DWI, her jail sentence, and then see her second DWI was four months after she was released from jail. I think that any sane judge would see that she clearly lied when she said she understood the gravity of her mistake, that she learned a lesson and wouldn't do it again. I think that the judge is also going to see that this time she was so drunk she didn't even realize the car in front of her was stopped at a red light, that she was so drunk she didn't make any attempt to stop and wound up rear ending someone.I think any judge who gives her less than the maximum is an idiot. She will do this again, and then she's going to prison for ten years and no amount of "I'm sorry" is going to make it better.

My coworker is getting married on July 10th and Padawan and I are actually going to the wedding. I'm going to get a new dress, and Padawan will wear a button down shirt and nice jeans. He will not, he insists, wear slacks. Which my coworker insists is fine. She's getting married in a multi-layered, multi colored floor length tutu and a green leather corset, so it's obviously not a formal affair.

My mother's boyfriend has murdered my cat, Fizban. Or, as I always called him, Fizzy Pop Pop. (I named him Fizban after the Kinder God in the Dragon Lance series, but Fizzy Pop Pop was his nickname. He answered to both.) I gave him to my mom when he was a kitten because I couldn't keep him and his mother, and my mother adored him. Even as a kitten he was a very handsome little thing. He grew into a beautiful cat. 

Anyway, my mom left Fizban with her boyfriend for two weeks while she went to Houston to look for a job. (I've already informed her that she can expect no visits from me as I do not like obnoxious, smelly, heavily polluted cities full of crime and angry drivers. She argued that Houston wasn't like that where she'll be living. However, pollution is pollution.) When she came back the landlord said Fizban was dead. He'd been outside the whole time she was gone (because her boyfriend is a dick like that) and he was throwing up blood and then just...dead. 

Her boyfriend insists he was snake bitten. I'm not entirely certain, but I'm pretty sure there aren't any snakes out there that are venomous in a way that makes you throw up blood and guts. No snake bite I've ever heard of can do that. However, we had a dog die a few years ago that had the same symptoms. He, too, was left alone with her boyfriend for a week. The Vet said he was poisoned. I'm starting to think her boyfriend poisons animals.

I just did a restring for a boy on a classical guitar. His guitar strings were in a sad state of existence. I restrung it for him, and the smile on his face was worth way more than the labor cost I just made with twenty minutes of my time. 

I think it upset Dizzy that I did it, but we paged twice and nobody came to help. He said he yelled to send them around to his side of the counter, but nobody heard him. All the boy wanted was to know about strings. Did his need to be changed? (Holy Merlin, yes they did.) What kind of strings did they need? (Normal tension  silver wound and nylon.) Did we have ball ends? (Yes, but they don't make the right sound.) He thought he could do it himself...but could I restring it? (Yes, I could.) How much did it cost? (Fifteen dollars for traditional classical strings, twelve dollars for ball ends, plus the price of the strings.) Why were traditional classical more to put on? (Because they take twice as long to put on.)

He was very pleased with his finished product, so it was well worth it.

I got a tip for a restring I did yesterday for a young man and his grandfather. It was just an acoustic restring, nothing fancy like a classical restring, so it was only seventeen dollars for labor and strings. I got a three dollar dip out of it, though, so it was nice.  It was my first tip ever. We're not allowed to ask for tips, of course, and we don't tell people we accept tips. But when we get them we keep them. A lot of time our customers tip us with food. Generally it's pizza, sometimes Girl Scout cookies. The best time ever was when we got brisket from Rudy's. 

Sometimes it's great to work in music.


  1. Wonder how Momma's BF will react to poison? Lets find out!

    OMG I want a pic of that wedding dress! I want something extravagant for my next one. If it ever happens.

  2. I've been wondering that for years, Rebecca.

    Her's was custom made so I can't show pictures until the wedding actually happens. And you'll get married again some day if that's what you want to do.

  3. alright, one at a time here

    1.) I got another Charlie Horse in my sleep the other day. Someone told me that the thing to do was to get up and walk on it. Sounded crazy to me. It seems like the last thing you'd want to do. Actually, it works wonders though. The pain goes away instantly. Only problem is that when it happens in my sleep I have no idea what's going on for the first couple of minutes. It feels like someone is trying to rip my leg off. I'm not sure what this has to do with being sore from yoga, but what are we gonna do, exchange sore muscle stories? Maybe this was educational, at least. Moving on...

    2.)You get an hour for lunch??? I only get a half hour :'(

    3.)I'd repeat what I said on the Reverend's blog the other day about court appointed AA, but I'm lazy and my muscles are sore...FROM WORKING.

    4.)Make him wear a suit.

    5.)What kind of psycho murders pets he's sitting? Two deaths under his care in too suspicious. Your mother needs to find a new boyfriend.

    6.)I've restrung a few guitars in my day. I clip the excess string off with nail clippers. I bet that makes you cringe. Maybe not. I don't know.

    7.)I once had a job as a bag boy in supermarket. Sometimes I had to help people load groceries in their car. We weren't allowed to accept tips, so whenever someone offered money I graciously declined, saying "No thank you ma'am. I'm living in a nearly criminal amount of luxury on my substantial wages as a supermarket bag boy. My conscience couldn't possibly allow me to accept an extra penny more for performing my duties." Yeah, right. I pocketed the money and never looked back.

    So there you go.

  4. Bryan

    1) You could also try eating more bananas. You get Charlie horses because your body needs potassium. If you eat a banana a day you wouldn't have to worry about it.

    2) Our lunches are weird. We have to take at least fifteen minutes but no more than an hour. Where do you work that only gives you half an hour for lunch? That's just weird!

    3)It's okay. I can just go read it myself and pretend you said it to me.

    4) That's like saying make him eat his vegetables. I could sit there and nag him, but he probably wouldn't do it.

    5) A sociopathic psycho. And everybody has told her to find a new boyfriend since they started dating when I was thirteen. She won't listen.

    6) That does make me cringe. Not because you didn't use wire cutters or a string cutter, but because you use toenail clippers on your toenails and that's just gross.

    7) I like to tip when I have someone take stuff out for me. Usually it's like a TV or a desk or something too heavy without help. Tips show you appreciate the extra effort.

  5. Hmm... So many things. I've been thinking about getting into Tai Chi myself. I'm sure if I do I'll be complaining about using muscle groups that I don't normally. That is, if I can talk myself into it.
    I would say that mom's BF is an evil prick and don't ever let him around you or anything you care about ever again. However the next time you see him, mix him up an iced tea or something and say "Here, this will make you feel just like Fizban did." I'll bet he doesn't drink it.

    Tell Dizzy that if you aren't there Johnny on the spot when a customer needs help then you are beat on any jobs that come in. Hollering from across the store doesn't count. You have to be there in person.

    And the thought of a green leather corset has got me feeling rather warm. Do you think it's warm in here?

  6. Most places I've ever worked that give a lunch break, give a half hour. Not weird around here. Maybe in Texas.

    And they were fingernail clippers, I think, if that makes it less gross.

  7. Rev, I'm not sure what Tai Chi is but it sounds fun.

    I wouldn't make that man a sandwich, let alone an iced tea. I waited on him enough when I was in school and had to live with him. There's nothing more joyful to me now than when I'm visiting him and mom and he says, "Hey, Chanel, grab me a beer while you're up." And I say, "You have two hands. Get your own damn beer." I really don't like him. He's a jerk.

    I told him we couldn't hear him and he wouldn't have been able to do it while they waited anyway. He was already backed up with amps and guitars to repair, and having them wait a week for a restring was just ridiculous.

    I think it's cold in here, personally.

    Bryan, I've never heard of anywhere giving just half an hour...that just strikes me as so strange. And unfair. You can't possibly go anywhere and eat in half an hour!

    It doesn't. Fingernails are gross, too.

  8. Most teachers barely get 30 minutes for lunch and most teachers take at least some of that to help students in some way. We're not really on a clock, so we learn to eat fast.

    And at some point a man needs to buy a suit. And wear it to things like weddings.

  9. My teachers ate lunch when we did or ate during their conference period. Sometimes they ate during class if we were taking a test.

    He has a suit. He just doesn't like wearing the pants.

  10. Ok, let's see how much of this I can address in a single comment...

    Yoga isn't for everyone. Maybe you can take a kickboxing class or something like that. It could be fun.

    Make sure you keep a weather eye open for your hours at work. That's stupid that the higher ups will try to cheat you all like that. Send them to the guillotine! Okay maybe nothing that drastic, but watch your back!

    I hope ring along with you about Clueless's sentencing. Any truly competent judge should give her the maximum.

    Have fun at the wedding! At least Padawan is wearing the NICE jeans, as opposes to a pair of raggedy old sweats or something. See if you can post a picture of your friend in her dress it sounds awesome!

    What a jerk-wad killing animals like that! I hope he gets his someday. He reminds me of Tyler' mother's boyfriend. It was the same kind of thing. She lived with him for about 20 years, despite everyone telling her what a creep he was, but she didn't listen. She died seven years ago, and we firmly believe she's happier where she is, rather than with that jerk.

    I play the guitar, but I always have my dad restring it for me. I just worry that I'll screw it up somehow. Good for you, helping that guy out though. Well done!

    Tips are always nice. I'm sure you deserved it! :)

  11. Candice, my instructor says that my muscles aren't used to being stretched or used the way they are, but that they will adjust in a couple of months.

    Oh, I've been watching. I'm watching my hours carefully.

    The last one was, apparently, not very competent since they let her out after a month. Let's hope the next one is better.

    I intend to have fun and take lots of pictures.

    At least I'm not alone in this. Relly nearly screamed me deaf yesterday when I said I held him responsible, if not for directly killing him with poison, then for leaving him outside with no food and no water so that he wound up dead some other way.

    It's not hard to learn. I don't even play guitar except for a few chords and I can do it. It's just a matter of practice.

  12. Now I have this picture in my mind of Padawan, even though I have no idea what he looks like, in a nice shirt and tie and jacket and no pants. Great. How do I get that out of my head now?

  13. I dunno...Imagine Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy?

  14. I've seen this Padawan you mention, and surprisingly he was not wearing robes or had a light-saber. I was mildly disappointed. I was thinking more Cloud from the Final Fantasy game.

  15. Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy with no pants... That just might work!

  16. Thirty minutes is pretty standard for lunch most places I have worked, in and out of Texas. And good for Dizzy - I would have reported it to the Texas Workforce Commission, too.

  17. Scott, I'm confused. Are you saying Padawan doesn't look like a Padawan but he looks like Cloud? Because Cloud is blond...I think he's blond. I'm pretty sure.

    Rev, I thought so.

    Doug, that's what it was called! Texas Workforce Commission. Are you sure? Half an hour seems fairly don't even have time to relax...

  18. You know, Jeffery Dahmer used to kill animals before he moved on to Phillipino guys. I'm just saying.

  19. Hmmm.... Cloud. Was he tall and thin with a face that looked like it was chiseled out of marble and enough hair for twenty men? Did he carry a sword that was longer than he was tall? Or maybe I'm thinking of somebody else.

  20. Um...yes. No! I mean, I am not sure anymore. I think I meant he is more Cloud-like than Jedi. I might have been blending the avatar of *him* with the job with a touch of sparse sarcasm from a post you wrote about his "character"

  21. Asha, a lot of serial killers started out on animals. It's a pretty common thing in their backgrounds.

    Rev, Cloud was blond with a really giant sword thing and...I don't know about how much hair he had, but he did have hair.

    Scott, his characters all have brown hair. My character had blond hair because I was blond when I made her. (Blonde...blond...either way is apparently the correct spelling.) I think he looks more like the Beatles when grows his hair out. Maybe I should start calling him Jude...

  22. The cat situation is sketch.

    The tips are nice.

    Watch your hours girl or go all Norma-Rae on their ass.

  23. I'm still angry about the cat. My mom refuses to talk about it. (I suspect because she really does hold him responsible in one way or another.)

    Tips=ice cream

    I have been EXTREMELY obsessive over my hours.

  24. "multi-layered, multi colored floor length tutu "


  25. I would if I could. You'd have a field day with the kilt and the tutu on the bride and the maid of honor. I imagine the pictures would be interesting.


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