Explaining My Neurosis

My name is Chanel, and I live in Austin. I'm a classical flutist for all that I don't actually play in an orchestra. (I don't like playing with large groups of people. I don't like being around large groups of people.) I live in a lovely one bedroom apartment with Padawan, who is my boyfriend, and Choo Choo, who is my Chihuahua.

I worry about a lot of things.

Getting run over on my way to work.
Getting robbed at work.
Getting kidnapped at work.
Getting crushed by a piano at work.
Getting impaled by a guitar at work.
Large and possibly badly trained dogs.
Riding my bike off of concrete.
Riding my bike on concrete.
Riding my bike in general.
Walking Choo Choo after dark.
Walking Choo Choo between three and five. 

Actually, it's probably easier to list the things I don't worry about.

Death by oven.

Yeah....that's pretty much it.

Although, I suppose if I was standing near an industrial sized oven I'd probably worry...

And I actually didn't used to worry about being crushed by a piano. I worry about that now because a coworker was nearly crushed by one recently. She barely escaped with her life. She now has a healthy fear of helping move around pianos, and I certainly learned from her brush with death. Makes me shudder to think of all of the times they held up a piano and I trustingly used my hands to center the dolly directly under it. If a two thousand pound grand fell on my hands, I'd never be able to use them again.

Anyway, I work at a music store. That's why I worry about death by instrument so frequently. Though really...I don't think I'll have to worry much about my flute killing me. It's kind of small. And delicate. Made of silver, you know. It's not particularly lethal. Though I suppose one could be impaled by a flute...

I despise idiotic remarks on Facebook. I also despise religious commentary on Facebook. And in person, for that matter. Have a blessed day is just irritating when you're not actually religious. And while science obviously can't explain everything, there is room in my logical mind to believe in the possibility of life outside of Earth. But an omnipotent, omniscient being that created all of us and planned everything we will do? Silly.

Aliens, definitely. God floating in the clouds watching everyone and everything at the same time? Ridiculous. In my opinion. I don't ridicule religion. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I don't go around handing out anti-Jesus pamphlets or anything.

I can't have children, which is ideal since I actually despise children. Oh, there are a couple of children that I have adored in my lifetime. But not even the cutest, most intelligent, well behaved little thing could possibly persuade me that children would be a good idea for me. I'm obviously mentally unstable, and I couldn't love a stupid child. I didn't even really like my sisters growing up. (They've improved marginally since childhood, but it's a take one step forward, two steps back kind of thing.)

I believe in marriage...for responsible, stable adults who are ready for such a commitment. As for myself? Padawan and I are perfectly happy with our current relationship. As to whether or not we will be married, that remains to be seen. We're young and healthy. There's no rush. If we're right for each other, it will happen. If not...well, it will end eventually, won't it?

I hate teenagers, children, and stupid people. I hate repeating myself, I hate answering stupid questions, and I really hate being told I'm wrong even after I've proven I'm right.

I enjoy teasing my sisters (who never fail to take the bait), hanging out with Padawan and Choo Choo, and sometimes seeing my family. (They are quite loud and Padawan often leaves with a headache when forced to endure the company of all four of us at the same time.) I also enjoy the occasional margarita (strawberry if I can find one) and fried chicken.

I love fried chicken.

It's freaking awesome.

And bacon.

Bacon has got to be the most delicious, universal food ever. You can eat it, literally, with anything. Salad, burgers, sandwiches, by itself, even in cookies and with candy. Seriously. You can have bacon with anything and it's just awesome. (Crispy, of course, never soft and squishy. Soft bacon is just not living up to its full potential.)

Mostly I like to share funny stories. Or complain. I have to say that complaining is a lot of fun sometimes. I especially like complaining to Padawan. It's great in a blog, but you just can't hear my funny voices when I'm mocking someone mercilessly for being stupid/annoying/a pain in my ass.

But that's what The List is for.

Candice over at Thoughts By Candice and I have The List.

Right now the Universe, her sandals, and a several other things and persons are on that list. Oh, yeah. Forgot. We added Blogger to The List when it closed down for several days and then totally and completely wiped out one of my most epic posts ever, complete with amusing videos of myself being adorably dorky.

Anyway...that's about all I feel like doing for this rendition of About Me. Check back later to see if I've completely rewritten it again or if I changed anything. Like the background. I usually do it every couple of months...but I'm really digging my pink brick wall right now. Maybe...another shade of brick wall?

My Shelfari Bookshelf

Shelfari: Book reviews on your book blog