Saturday, June 25, 2011

No, the pretty one DOES NOT want to hold a damned guitar.

I'm still trying to find a balance for the job change and the hours and blogging. It's not so bad on weekends because there are far fewer posts to catch up on, but trying to catch up from Monday and Tuesday on a Wednesday is going to be the trial of my life.

I recently had a plea for more stories. 

Which stories? Childhood stories? Work stories? Daily life stories?

No idea.

But I do have a work story from yesterday that Padawan found amusing. (I found it irritating.)

You all know by now that I work in a music store. I'm sure some of you have already gone through the trouble of finding out which music store I work at, but I'm still not saying which one or exactly where or why. Anyway, it is very common for people to call and ask to take pictures, to have field trips, to have birthday parties, to film, to whatever in our store. Frankly, it's annoying when they get told yes.

Like this one time some people did a music video in here. On a Saturday. During Band Season. Needless to say they were loud, obnoxious, and in the way. So I always cross my fingers and hope they will get a resounding no when they ask to do things. And when they want to do it on Saturdays, that's generally what they hear. 


I mean, I'm not the biggest fan of the word when it's applied to me. (In fact, I generally disregard it when I hear it and either do what I want anyway, or nag and pester until the "no" becomes a "yes" in my favor.)

But these people wanted to come in and film whatever for God knows what on Friday, and so Manager Man and B-Money gave the okay for it on Thursday. Fridays aren't busy this time of year. It's Fridays during football and marching season that are unreasonably busy. But Fridays in summer? Not so much. 

I hate cameras in the store. I hate having my picture taken, I hate being interviewed, I fucking hate being in panoramic shots of the store. This face does not belong on any pictures other than ones involving friends, family, and good times. (Or pictures I take of myself.) When people come in to film, I make myself scarce until they're gone (unless they're just doing it all day, in which case I'm shit out of luck for hiding but I can try to stay out of their way.)

Yesterday the camera was just following the one guy around mostly. They did ask B-Money if they could "get a few shots of the pretty one holding a guitar," but B-Money told them point blank that "Chanel doesn't like being on camera. You can ask, but I doubt she says yes." A look in my direction, an emphatic shake of my head, and they moved on.

I avoided them like plague for the first two hours. I even forgot their existence entirely because they were quiet, respectful, and stayed out of the way. But then a man was asking the new receptionist about a quarter sized guitar, and she didn't know the answer so she turned to me.

"Is this a real guitar?"

"Yes, that's a real guitar. It's quarter sized for children so they can play properly and comfortably."

"So this is a real guitar? You play it like a normal one?"

"Yes, it's a real guitar. Those are real bridge pins, real steel strings, real tuning pegs. The frets are the same, the notes are the same. It's just a smaller scale." Then I turned to my right and the camera was right in my face.

God damn it. 

I'm pretty fucking sure that I made it damn clear I didn't want to be on camera. I fucking said no, thank you very much.  I immediately looked down, turned around, and walked away. 

Good. Fucking. Grief. Does nobody respect the privacy of the individual anymore? I fucking said I didn't want anything to do with the camera. Doesn't that count for something?

I've never been so annoyed with a filming crew that came into the store. I stomped off to the back where I organized percussion and snare kits for the better part of an hour before someone came and told me they were had vacated the premises. They better edit that out or so help me....


  1. Draw up a legal doc that says you refuse to be on camera ect. Unless you already signed a media agreement when you were hired. Submit it to your mgr. and anytime a crew comes in give them a copy.

  2. I signed absolutely nothing when I started working here except a tax thing. But absolutely NOTHING about being subjected to filming.

  3. Yea that's what I would do. Draw up a document (you can find generic formats online) saying that you will not be filmed for any reason other then security purposes or whatever blah blah and if you are with out your specific personal consent there will be legal action taken. Have it notarized and sign it. Keep a few copies on hand for the visiting crews and give an original to management so they have it on file.

    That's all my advise.

    Good luck!

  4. We're all being watched and filmed all the time anyway. You don't have to sign some agreement for some bozo to take out his camera and film you at any time and put it online. We must always be on our best behavior.

  5. "..get a few shots of the pretty one holding a guitar." What a creep? Like you're a piece of furniture in the background.

  6. ICK!!! YOU TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE GONE POSTAL ON THOSE JERKS WITH A TROMBONE SLIDE!!! [Yep, make sure none of them will be able to sit for a month!]

    I'm so sorry they just disregarded your wishes like that. I agree that you should get something on paper. It should be able to offer you some protection.

  7. Brent, we do have security cameras, but that's different. Everything gets deleted after seventy two hours. But I don't think anybody has any film of me other than my family, in which case I can't really help that. But that doesn't mean I have to like being filmed when I said no.

    Bryan, that's what my coworkers said! Something about how they wanted to use me like meat on a stick. They never even asked my name. Creep-tacular.

    Candice, I'll keep that in mind for next time. A trombone slide would be a fairly interesting much force would it take, do you think, without slide grease?

    I talked to Manager Man about it and he said he'd call them and respectfully suggest that they remove the clip with me in it because they'd never asked permission to film any employees.

  8. It would take quite a bit of force but you could manage it pretty easily, I think. Especially if you were angry. :)

    I just hope they listen to Manager Man, for their sakes...

  9. beatnik Steve and the super group saidJune 25, 2011 at 8:44 PM

    I think this is the most I have read you curse. Well done.

  10. Candice, they had better is all I have to say. I'll take their butts OUT. And you're right. Given the right combination of annoyance and anger, I could get it up there pretty easily.

    Steve, are you sure? I'm pretty sure there were a few back when we lived with Jerkface that had epic curse proportions.

  11. Sorry Chanel, but there is a price to being a gorgeous lady who can play guitar...yes, I just objectified you, and no I'm not apologizing. I'm jealous. Nobody wants me to appear on camera! :)

  12. Standing somewhat correctedJune 26, 2011 at 7:39 AM

    Was I around then? In any case, seeing a cute little neurotic have a fit of rage is funny.

  13. Hee hee hee! I've filmed you now, my pretty! And your little trombone slide, too!

    Of course you could always carry a can of something innocuous, like hair spray. If they get too close with the camera just hose down their lens with that. I guarantee they will never point it at you again.

  14. Sandra, I can't play guitar, just a few chords and smoke on the water. Maybe if they had wanted me to play it would have been less insulting. They just wanted me to HOLD one for the camera. I'm sure if a news crew ever comes through your hospital you'll be the first one they try to get on camera.

    Steve, I don't know if you were around then. Frankly I'm not sure if you're Asha, Doug, or Scott playing anonymous because I recently allowed it, or if you're actually someone else.

    Rev, it's not a little trombone slide by any stretch of the imagination. I promise.

    You know...I've always wanted to try Gorilla Glue for myself. Maybe I'd coat their lens in that.

  15. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA I love that they wanted just shots of you HOLDING it. Like you're a damn guitar model on The Price is Right or something. "Here, hold this and look pretty."

    As someone with a defined interest in the lens, I do have to say that Mr. Cameraman sounds like a real dick. You're not an reclusive animal that can be hunted out for the shot. You're a human, and you don't want to be on camera. I think camera-wielding people too often get caught up in "getting the shot" that they forget there are PEOPLE in those shots, not just SUBJECTS.

  16. Kind of makes you feel sorry for all of those celebrities being haunted by the paparazzi, right? That is one life I would never want to lead.


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