Monday, July 5, 2010

A Day in the Life of a Receptionist

Caller: Where are you located?
Me: The *BLANK* corner of FM *number* and Highway *number*.
Caller: I'm at that corner. I don't see you.
Me: What buildings do you see?
Caller: Burlington Coat Factory.
Me: That's not FM*number* and Highway *number*, that's Lake *name* and Highway *number*.
Caller: No, it's FM *number* and Highway *number* because the exit said Lake *name* and FM *number*.
Me: It says two names because it exits onto those two major intersections. The road you are at is the first street, Lake *name*. You need to come further north.
Caller: What good are you if you can't give me directions?
Me: Ma'am, if you were at the right corner, you would see us. I give the same directions to everyone who calls, and they find us without a problem.
Caller: Then you send them to the wrong place and they're so dumb they accidentally find you and think you gave them the right directions.

At that point, I put her on hold and gave her to my manager. I didn't want to deal with her anymore.

Me: Hello, this is *Name of Business* Northwest, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Um, who did I call again?
Me: *Name of Business* Northwest. How may I direct your call?
Caller: Oh, okay, are you calling me to tell me my guitar is ready?
Me: Sir, you called me.
Caller: No, I didn't. I just answered my phone.
Me: Sir, I assure you that I did not call you. Did you call to check on your guitar?
Caller: *to whoever was with him* Did I call her or did she call me? *someone confirms he called* Oh, you're right. I called you. Why did I call you?
Me: Did you call to check on your guitar status?
Caller: Yeah, that sounds like a good enough reason to call. Is it ready?
Me: Did we call you?
Caller: Nah, lady, we went through this. I called you, remember?
Me: Exactly. You called us. It's not ready.
Caller: How do you know it's not ready?
Me: Did we call you?
Caller: No, we already--
Me: If we didn't call you, it's not ready yet.
Caller: Oh. I guess that's why you take my number on the ticket thing.
Me: That's right. Is there anything else you need?
Caller: Nope. That's it. *click*

To be fair, I'm pretty sure that particular kid was stoned out of his mind. This is Austin. You can't throw a rock without hitting someone who's either toking or just finished toking. (Unless you throw a rock and hit me. Then all you've done is hit a very sober me who is very likely to kick your ass for throwing a rock at me.)

Caller: I'm looking for a Kenny Rodgers CD. I think it was released in the late nineties.
Me: I'm sorry, sir, we don't sell those kinds of CDs here.
Caller: You're a music store. What kind of music store doesn't sell CDs?
Me: We sell musical instruments, their accessories, and sheet music.
Caller: Well, I still need that CD.
Me: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't sell it.
Caller: Well, what am I supposed to do?
Me: I don't know, sir. I only know we don't sell it.
Caller: Well where should I look for it?
Me: I don't know. Target sells CDs. Why don't you give them a try?
Caller: Are you being sarcastic?
Me: No, sir, I am only pointing out that we don't carry that kind of CD, but Target does.
Caller: Whatever. *Click*

I understand that you can find a music store listed in a phone book and have a reasonable expectation that they sell CDs, however in our case it just isn't true. The caller should not have become so hostile (and believe me, his tone was DEFINITELY hostile) when informed that we didn't have what he was looking for, and he definitely should not have asked me for information as to where he could find the CD. It's not my job to tell people where to find things we don't sell. However, I know that Target does carry Kenny Rodgers music CDs, and I was being helpful. His accusation that I was being sarcastic was completely unnecessary. I realize I gave an obvious answer, but he shouldn't have asked if he didn't want the obvious answer.

Caller: Hi, are you open?
Me: Yes, ma'am, we opened at nine thirty.
Caller: Okay, well can you unlock your doors and let me in?
As she said this, a family opened the doors in front of my desk and walked into the store. Clearly, our doors were unlocked.
Me: Our doors are unlocked, a family just walked in.
Caller: YOU'RE LYING. I'M STANDING OUTSIDE OF YOUR DOORS AND THEY ARE LOCKED!!!!!
I calmly put her on hold, stood up, and walked to the glass doors behind the drums. Those doors are always locked because the drums are sitting in front of them. There was no one there. I turned around and walked to the glass doors by our pianos that are also always locked, unless we're getting a delivery with Grand Pianos. There was nobody there.
Me: Ma'am, I just checked all of the doors leading into the store that are locked, and I did not see you standing out there. Are you sure you're not trying to get into our South Location?
Caller: LOOK, LADY, I'M STANDING RIGHT OUTSIDE OF YOUR DOOR AND I'M LOOKING AT A HALLWAY. YOU COME UNLOCK THE DOORS RIGHT NOW AND LET ME IN.
Me: Ma'am, I can't unlock the doors and let you into the building you just described. That is the *Name* School of Music, and you have called *Name of business*.
Caller: I'M STANDING OUTSIDE OF YOUR STORE, LET ME IN!!!!
Me: Ma'am, read the sign above the door you're standing at and tell me what it says.
Caller: IT SAYS *NAME* SCHOOL OF MUSIC.
Me: And who are you calling?
Caller: I'M CALLING *NAME OF BUSINESS*!
Me: Exactly. We're at the other end of the shopping center under the sign that says *name of business*, and our doors are open.
Caller: Oh...Fine. I'll be there in a minute.

You know, it's an honest mistake. She didn't need to call me a liar, she didn't need to scream, and after putting me through all of that hell the least she could have done was apologize for her blatantly disproportionate reaction. But no, she didn't say it on the phone, and when I greeted her when she came in she looked at me like I was a bug, then stuck her nose so far up in the air she would have drowned if it had been raining.

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